Xena's Raps
by Nimbus Fabella
Summary: Xena and friends got into the recording studio (::cough::cough:: meaning I snuck them in....hehe). What exactly di they do?
1. Without Me

Without Me  
By Nimbus Fabella  
To Eminem's Without Me  
_________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Ares: Ares, slice! Real god no gimmicks! Wi--  
  
(The channel changes)  
  
Xena: Two warrior girls got frozen inside, frozen inside,   
frozen inside!  
Two warrior girls got frozen inside, frozen inside, frozen inside!  
  
Guess who's back? Back again? Xena's back! Tell a friend!  
Guess who's back?  
Guess who's back?  
Guess who's back?  
Guess who's back?  
Guess who's back?  
Guess who's back?  
Guess who's back?  
  
I've created a monster cause no one wants to see Xena no more,   
they want Livia. I'm chopped liver.  
  
(Livia pushes Xena out of the camera and begins rapping)  
  
Livia: Well if you want me this is what I'll give ya.   
A little bit of Xe mixed with Psyco Barbie!  
  
A bloodbath that'll jumpstart my heart quicker than a shot   
when I shoot arrows at the hospice.  
With the doctor when I'm not cooperating,   
when I'm killin the doctor while he's examinating!  
  
Hey!  
  
You've waited this long now stop debating   
cause I'm back at the table and masticating,  
I know you got an empire Octavey,   
but ya know my triangle is complicating.  
  
So the Roman colonies won't let me be   
or let me be me so let me see.   
They try to shut me down by callin me Eve,   
but it feels so empty without me.  
  
So come on and flip, sting with a whip,   
jumpback, rotate the hip, and get in a hit,   
and get ready cause this is about to get heavy.  
  
I just killed all the Elysians so f*** you Xena!  
  
Now this looks like a job for me so all my army,   
just follow me cause we need a little misery,   
cause it feels so empty without me!  
  
Now this looks like a job for me so all my army,   
just follow me cause we need a little misery,   
cause it feels so empty without me!  
  
Eve: Now sometime between the first and second verse,   
I changed my name to Eve  
Livia's left in a hearse  
  
I felt, you know, like a prisoner helpless, now I'm on a mission!   
No longer Rome's BITCH!  
  
A visionary, the vision was scarry!  
Now I'm roamin the lands with my mamma and Gabby, just goin.  
  
(Grabs Xena and Gabby and begins to sway)   
  
Just let me go on and ask   
why in the world did I ever kiss Ares' ass?  
  
(Goes up to Ares and kicks him in the butt)  
  
It was a disaster such a catastrophe,   
people came from so many lands just to capture me.  
  
Well I'm back!  
  
Da na na na na na na na na na na  
Listen very carefully and then I'm gonna  
  
Enter in and take out the sin like a splinter  
The time of the gods are over it's their winter  
  
Eli's interesting, the best thing since questing   
it's goes to your heart and begins nesting  
  
Testing, attention please!   
  
Feel the love as soon as someone metions me  
  
Here's some common sense, no cents is free,  
a godsent, who sent? You sent for me?  
  
Now this looks like a job for me, so my prayer circle, just follow me,   
cause we need some peace and humility, and it feels so empty without   
He.  
  
Now this looks like a job for me, so my prayer circle, just follow me,   
cause we need some peace and humility, and it feels so empty without   
He. 


	2. Please Kick Butt

Please Kick Butt  
By Nimbus Fabella  
To Eminem's The Real Slim Shady  
_____________________________________  
  
  
  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
  
Will Xena and Gabby Pleez kick butt?  
I repeat,  
Will Xena and Gabby Pleez kick butt?  
  
Yo you act like you've never seen a girl super hero before  
jaws drops to the florr   
With Xena and Ares just walked through the door  
She started whooping his ass first and before  
he tortured her more  
she threw him over the furniture  
  
AAAHHHH!!!!  
  
It's the return of her oh wait   
no wait  
you're kidding  
he didn't just say what I think he did  
did he?  
  
But Callisto said  
Nothing you idiots Callisto's dead  
She's trapped in Tartarus  
  
Ha ha!  
  
Livin in the underworld  
tiki tiki tiki god Hades I'm sick of him  
look at him!  
  
Walking around with his you know what   
condemning you know who  
but he's so cute, too  
  
Gab's probably got a couple of screws up in her head loose  
But no worse then what's going on in Zeus's bedroom  
  
Sometimes Gab tries to get on henbane but can't   
cause someone stole her laced nutbread damn!  
  
ha  
  
Cyrene's in a fit  
Cyrene's in a fit   
And if you're like Atrius she'll kill you with a pick  
  
Is this the message Xena sends to her kids?  
To tell them go desroy villages, no one'll notice it!  
  
Of course they're gonna know what a sword is  
by the time they're nine aged  
their dad's are all warlords ain't they?  
  
They ain't nothin but minyons  
according to Ares they got no opinions  
But he's not optomistic is he?  
  
but if they can american accents in ancient greece  
Who's to say Gab didn't get her wish for world peace?  
  
If you feel the way I feel about Jason and his golden fleece  
You'll hear me sing my latest song here we go  
Press release!  
  
Cause she fights evil  
does more stunts than kneval  
her best friend's ranting seems trivial  
so Xena and Gabby won't you please kick butt?  
Please kick butt  
Please kick Butt?  
  
Cause she fights evil  
does more stunts than kneval  
her best friend's ranting seems trivial  
so Xena and Gabby won't you please kick butt?  
Please kick butt  
Please kick Butt? 


End file.
